Caregiving is a demanding journey. It requires physical and emotional strength, and the knowledge that you’re in for the long haul. While caring for a loved one with a chronic illness like Alzheimer’s or another condition can be challenging, maintaining a sense of humor can be a powerful tool for your own well-being.
Laughter: A Powerful Ally
Studies have shown that laughter offers a range of health benefits. Researchers found that watching funny videos improved participants’ blood pressure and hormone levels compared to those who watched distressing ones. Laughter may even help stimulate appetite in elderly patients suffering from loss of interest in food.
Beyond single studies, there’s evidence that laughter can:
- Reduce stress and anxiety
- Improve mood and outlook
- Boost the immune system
- Help manage pain
- Promote social connection
Smiling: Another Weapon in Your Arsenal
Even a simple smile, especially a genuine one involving both mouth and eye muscles, can have a positive impact. A study by the University of Kansas found that participants who held a smile position during stressful activities recovered with a lower heart rate than those with neutral expressions.
Learning from Others: Finding Humor in the Journey
Caregivers of individuals with dementia often share stories of finding humor in unexpected moments. These experiences highlight the importance of laughter for both the caregiver and the loved one they’re caring for. Laughter can become a bridge, fostering connection even in the later stages of the disease.
Humor Resources for Caregivers
Here are some resources that can help you find humor in your caregiving journey:
- Books: “A Pocket Guide for the Alzheimer’s Caregiver” by Ellen Woodward Potts
- Videos: “Humor from the Elderly: A Reminder that Laughter is the Best Medicine” (Disclaimer: This video does not endorse the home care company mentioned)
- Websites: Articles and cartoons about aging
- Funny Sayings: Lighthearted quotes about memory and forgetfulness (“Everyone has a photographic memory. Some don’t have film.”)
Tips for Adding Humor to Your Life
- Look for humor in everyday challenges.
- Seek out funny content online or in the newspaper.
- Surround yourself with positive and humorous people.
- Tell jokes, even if they’re bad! (Sometimes the best laughs come from bad jokes.)
- Take time to relax and de-stress. Meditation or spending time with pets can
be helpful.
Remember, you can’t control the world, but you can control your reaction to it. By cultivating a sense of humor, you’ll be better equipped to manage the stress of caregiving while strengthening your connection with your loved one.
A Pocket Guide for the Alzheimer’s Caregiver – by Ellen Woodward Potts, Co-author, September 10, 2011
“I remember one Christmas dinner when Maria was about 3 and wouldn’t eat her green beans, something that had to happen before I would allow her to eat her roll. She was sitting between me and her Papa who had Alzheimer’s disease. After many stern reminders on my part, Maria finally ate her green beans. When she turned to ask if she could have her roll, Papa grabbed her roll and ate it before she could register a protest. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw what he had done. The horrified look on her face was hysterically funny.
Should I have felt guilty about laughing at this ridiculous scene? No.
I once saw David Hyde Pierce, the star of “Frazier,” on The Tonight Show with Jay Leno. Leno asked Pierce about his work with the Alzheimer’s Association and told him about a comedian who had made fun of people with Alzheimer’s. I will never forget David Hyde Pierce’s answer (my summary): There are some people who have never been touched by Alzheimer’s disease and are so blissfully ignorant that they can make fun of it. For them, I wish them to continue in their blissful ignorance. Then, there are the rest of us who have been so profoundly changed by Alzheimer’s disease that we realize you have to laugh to keep you sanity.
This is one of the universal truths about any type of dementia: Both the caregiver and the person with dementia have to keep their sense of humor to keep their sanity.
When Papa ate the children’s cake and ice cream at Julie’s birthday party; when we gave my grandfather wine upon the doctor’s recommendation and he said this was the only place he’d ever been where they only gave you vinegar to drink; when Aunt Lola said she read the National Enquirer as a supplement to the Bible; when I introduced Danny as a “good Methodist boy” to my grandmother, a good Methodist herself who had not spoken in several months, and she said, “I like boys like that!” — In all these situations, we had a choice: Should we laugh or cry?
You have a choice, too. When you choose laughter, you choose respite for yourself as a caregiver, you choose sanity, you choose health, and perhaps, you choose connection with your loved one. Even in the late stages, smiles and laughter are some the few things that successfully connect with someone with dementia.
Don’t feel guilty. Life is still to be celebrated, even in the midst of tragedy. There will always be tears. Make sure there will always be laughter, too!”
Humor from the Elderly: A Reminder that Laughter is the Best Medicine – YouTube video.
A friend of the couple who founded Home Instead Senior Care, Mary Walker Maxwell, was asked to give the invocation at the company’s 2009 Convention. Initially, it seemed like a normal prayer, but it soon took a very funny turn. Her deadpan delivery and lines like “You don’t get a chance to practice getting old. This is the first time I’ve ever been old… and it just sort of crept up on me.” and “There were signs. Random hair growth. That’s special. ” Soon she had the franchise owners rolling in the aisles. With the timing of a professional comedian, Mary shines a very funny light on the foibles of aging, to the delight of this audience of senior-care experts. Disclaimer: posting this video does not imply promotion of the home care company.
Blessed In Aging by Esther Mary Walker
Blessed are they who understand my faltering step and shaking hand
Blessed who know my ears today must strain to hear the things they say.
Blessed are those who seem to know my eyes are dim and my mind is slow
Blessed are those who look away when I spilled tea that weary day.
Blessed are they who, with a cheery smile, stopped to chat for a little while.
Blessed are they who know the way to bring back memories of yesterday.
Blessed are those who never say “You’ve told that story twice today”
Blessed are they who make it known that I am loved, respected, and not alone.
And blessed are they who will ease the days of my journey home, in loving ways.
Axioms
Sayings with a light-hearted touch on memory, and lack of it.
- Everyone has a photographic memory. Some don’t have film.
- He who laughs last, thinks slowest.
- A day without sunshine is like, well, night.
- On the other hand, you have different fingers.
- Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.
- Back up my hard drive? How do I put it in reverse?
- I just got lost in thought. It was unfamiliar territory.
- When the chips are down, the buffalo is empty.
- Seen it all, done it all, can’t remember most of it.
- Those who live by the sword get shot by those who don’t.
- I feel like I’m diagonally parked in a parallel universe.
- He’s not dead, he’s electroencephalographically challenged.
- She’s always late. Her ancestors arrived on the Juneflower
- You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say will be misquoted, then used against you.
- I wonder how much deeper the ocean would be without sponges.
- Honk if you love peace and quiet.
We hope this information is helpful to you in the important work you do as a family caregiver.
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